MELLIPOP AND THE MULLET

Ok, so I was at the record store today and, like most days, managed to make a right dick of myself.

A few nights ago, the Channel 7 current affairs program broadcast a five minute feature on a competition run by one of the local radio stations. A “Best Mullet” contest. So Anton and I watched with avid glee this freakish parade of fat-woman mullets, long-term prisoner mullets, ADD-kid mullets and your garden-variety bogan mullet. I mean, mullets are a dime a dozen in Fremantle, anyway. No biggie.

So I was at work today and the guy from the loading dock brought up a few boxes of stock that had arrived for the store. As soon as I saw him I did the classic double-take. Where had I seen that mullet before?

As soon as the penny dropped I went bounding across the shop floor, squealing “I saw you on TV the other night!”, loud enough for half of Fremantle to hear. I got a kind of quizzical look from Mullet Guy, and yet pushed on regardless. “Yeah – I saw you on Channel Seven. You won the ‘Best Mullet in Perth’ competition. I SAW you!”

Mullet Guy gave me a priceless look of utter confusion and slowly shook his head in response to my enthusiastic assertions, not sure if he should laugh or be pissed off. And no doubt wondering, "Who the fuck is this sheila, anyway?". And I’m still there insisting that it was DEFINITELY him that I saw. Like he somehow forgot entering and winning a Mullet competition that was also filmed by a camera crew from Channel 7.

All the while my colleagues were just laughing hysterically, and staring at me with the kind of stunned, “Oh my God, Mel WHAT were you thinking” looks that I have seen innumerable times before in my life. And then Mullet Guy joined in and they all laughed at me, while I stood there sheepish and blushing like all buggery. Now Mullet Guy keeps winking at me whenever he walks past. We have a bond now, you see.