MELLIPOP AND THE CENSUS

Ok, so I was going to post on this whole Census thing today. That was, until I received a typically hilarious email from a friend and ex-workmate over in WA, on that very same topic. It was so pants-pissing funny that it took the wind out of my smug little sails. So, in a Mellipop first, I'm going to post his Census thoughts instead of my own. He's from Texas, by the way. But don't hold that against him. He's funny.

Yep, just did the electronic version of census.

Top Ten Results of Completing Your Census Online

1) Maybe the internet servers will resolve the glut of traffic so you can PROPERLY surf porn sites.
2) The banks will identify all the fibbing bastards in Balga claiming to earn $2,500.00 a week.
3) The government may actually respond to your answer "blow-job" on the occasional care requirement question.
4) Your employer will be publicly humiliated by your response to the annual income question.
5) Your statistics will be listed in the National Archives so you can be laughed at by future generations as well.
6) Your answers will be screened by Interpol and a heavily lipsticked and overcoated agent named Natasha will pay you a visit at 2:00 AM (See 3)
7) The system may not pick-up on your answer "killing neighbours with rat poison" on the occupation line.
8) The government will receive only input from lifeless singles because families with nine children and a nana won't be fucked.
9) The Census site may develop a free "Meeting Other Singles" section (with photos)
10) You may answer all further government questionnaires by ticking the "Torres Strait Islanders" box. Shit, they are really into that! What is Torres Strait? Why the fuck do they want to identify all of them?

Ha ha, that's why I happened to mention that he was American. Aaahh... Number 10..... Torres Straight..... That's so fucking funny! I might just leave it there as it's patently clear that I've been well and truly outclassed on this occasion. Thanks Mikey!