MELLIPOP AND THE REJECTION LETTER
OK, so the only mail I get these days tends to fall into one of two categories: bills or rejection letters. Here is the direct transcript (and unspoken subtext) of a rejection letter that arrived today. A Mellipop exclusive for you, dear voyeur.
Private and Confidential
Mellipop
Villa Le Bogan
Quakers Hill 2763
Dear Mellipop, (Dear Loser,)
Thank you for your interest (incomprehensible) and application (if you could even call it that), for the position of National Advertising Coordinator (why the fuck would you want this shitty, soul-annihilating job anyway, loser?).
We regret (ha, ha – sure we do!) to advise you that after careful consideration (a lot of arse-scratching was done), your application (if you could even call it that) for employment has not been successful on this occasion (fuck off, loser). We received a number of applications (fuck all, really), with a number of other applicants (all of them - including the mentally handicapped hobo who pissed in a rented pot plant in our reception area) better matching the selection criteria for the position (being able to wipe your own arse without requiring assistance).
I would like to thank you for the time and effort you made with your application (which was clearly close to zero), and would encourage you to apply for any other vacant position you consider suitable (as long as it is not with this company).
Yours sincerely (Get Fucked),
Tamara XXX
Chief of Sodomy (Broken Bottle Division)
Dead End Job Pty Ltd
A subsidiary of Ass-Lickers Incorporated
posted by Mel @ 5:38 PM
6 Comments:
I got a bunch of similar missives this week, but mine didn't even bother to 'waste' 35 cents on a stamp to tell me what a loser I am by snail-mail - all mine were form-letter email rejections.
I *DID* however get one interview lined up (which on reflection I ended up turning down) ... surprise surprise ... it was in response to an application I'd done for an admin job, using the 'bare-bones' resume mentioned in previous comments to you 'Mellipop Back in the Saddle' post.
Yep ... the applications I'd sent using my FULL (or at least a fuller) version of my CV were instantly rejected, but the people I'd sent my 'dumbed down' CV to (which listed only my highschool education, had the titles of my previous jobs changed to make them sound less 'important', and essetially implied that I was only 24 years old by revising my HSC completion date upwards by half a decade) called me within half an hour of my SEEK application to line up an interview time. Bastards ! :)
Well at least you're still one up on me!
I see your language hasnt improved wither Melli....I thin your attitude to life is seriously flawed..come on Melli time to grow up!!!
I thought it currently cost 50 cents to send a letter.
I've been checking nearly every day. I was soooo happy when you started blogging again. We all miss you Melli. Please don't let a bad patch with work and one arsehole anonymous commenter turn you off talking to your legion of fans!
I see your Anonymous heckler isn't aware that neglecting to check one's spelling and punctuation before posting acrimoniously, makes one look especially inept.
*chooses to post this anonymously so that person doesn't end up on my blog!*
Comments are a pleasure to get but we don't need that sort of commentary. It's nasty and petty.
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