BRIEF MELLIPOP LECTURE ON MOBILE PHONE ETTIQUETTE

Ok, so I think we need a brief reminder here on a point of mobile phone ettiquette. No. Not just ettiquette, but a basic sense of courtesy and human decency. Remember what that was? If not, try renting something from the "Classic Movies" section of your nearest video store.

How about this? When someone is serving you as part of a mutually-respectful retail encounter and your phone rings, don't answer it and then proceed to hold an inane five minute conversation with someone else whilst holding your friendly customer service representative at bay. Plus, it's not like there are other customers waiting for service, you know.

And if you truly have to answer - I know you people with your bloody mobile phones tend to think of listless conversations about meandering down to meet someone outside K-mart as "urgent" calls - subsequently resume your encounter with said friendly customer service representative by AT LEAST sheepishly apologising for your reprehensible behaviour.

I do realise that your time is far more valuable than that of some miserable sub-human retail peon like myself.

In such cases I like to wander off and pretend to be studiously applied to some other minor unrelated task. When I notice out the corner of my eye that they are off the phone and are looking impatiently to recapture my attention, I continue to pretend to beaver away at my minor unrelated task with all the steely-eyed determination of a pit-bull devouring a small lap dog, until I think that I have irritated them enough. After I have kept them waiting, I chance to look up with a combined air of surprise and irritation because they have somehow interrupted me from my extremely important minor unrelated task. Which I usually also punctuate with a smarmy yet innocently-framed comment like "Oh, so you're finished now?".

Petty, I know.

People are so fucking rude.