MELLIPOP BACK IN THE SADDLE

OK, so friends and bloggers have noted my distinct lack of communique of late. My blogging absence can be explained by a serial aversion to the internet of late (which is maybe more honestly expressed as an aversion to seek.com specifically). My telecommunications absence - well let's just put that down to my usual ineptitude with such things (in addition to the usual work excuses). Plus Anton is using my phone now, as his mobile is now officially dead.

None of you would be surprised to discover that our cute little four-legged antichrist was the architect behind that one. Tonka. I swear this puppy is the devil incarnate. Am thinking, in hindsight, that the name “Damien” may have been more appropriate. The balance sheet on this particular animal is catapulting even further into the red, but we do still love him very much, despite the steady stream of calls for us to despatch him with a silver bullet or two.

So Tonka didn't EAT the phone. He has been far too busy eating the walls. Yes. EATING THE WALLS. Though we have concocted a delightful little home remedy for that particular problem. Mix citronella oil, curry powder, fresh chilli and Rexona deodorant and smear it on the walls. Bingo! Puppies suddenly don't enjoy eating the walls so much anymore. So our house has the distinct odour of an East-Indian eatery located in a gym locker room with the obligatory outdoor bamboo torches burning for ambience. But the walls remain intact (though the pre-Staffy value of Anton’s investment property is maybe not so intact).

Anyway, back to Anton’s recently departed mobile phone. So yesterday he takes both pooches down to our old stomping grounds at the doggie café at Leichhardt. Tonka’s first time. For those who have never been - by lieu of geography or by lieu of not having a dog (oh how I envy you!) – the park has a stinky sewer-ish canal running along one side of it. Tonka likes water, and thinks he can swim. Hell – we thought he could swim!

He can’t. So he’s seen the water and hurtled down to leap into the canal at which point he then proceeded to drown. After he had gone under about three times - with a look of abject panic on his poor little puppy face - Anton realised that he was going to have to jump in after him to rescue him. So he did, with phone, wallet, keys and sunglasses still intact. Phone died. Tonka survived. Though the poor little blighter did vomit up a lot of water.

Anti-social behaviour, wanton destructiveness, chronic disobedience, the complete lack of heroic initiative, the tendency for chaos and acts of pure evil to manifest in his mere presence....

Damien, yes. Lassie, no.