MELLIPOP AND THE JOB OFFER

Ok, so I got offered a fantastic job today, completely out of the blue, putting paid to the sinister lie that unsolicited spam is the scourge of modern mass communications.

Opening with the warm yet not overly familiar greeting “Dear human being”, I knew straight away that I was onto a winner.

Dispensing with all other social niceties, the email went all out to forward me a fantastic employment offer. I can be my own boss and work from home, for only 2 to 3 hours a day. The only requirement is that I am “smart and honest”. Tick and tick. Plus I’m an Aussie citizen, over 21 and am a computer and email user. Tick, tock, tick on the Playschool clock.

So what does this dream job entail exactly? They were a bit scant on the details, but did reveal that I will be “Fulfilling company orders until we open an office in your country” and that “Your line of work will be tied to the banking system”. Sounds pretty sweet. I always fancied a role in the dynamic yet rewarding world of global capital.

However, there is one small glitch, no doubt due to the logistical nightmares involved in setting up a completely kosher multinational banking-system order-sending-out corporation. The poor buggers are keen to open a business account, but it requires two weeks. Damn banks and their paper pushing bureaucractic ineptitude. No doubt my new employers will be kicking against the pricks to revolutionise the entire way that banking systems operate on an international scale. Once they get that damn business account open, that is.

But rest assured that some initial hassles with paperwork isn’t going to stop me from commencing employment with them, because my new bosses are a proactive bunch, stating “Therefore you will be working with your own bank account”. And it gets better - “If you don't have a bank account, that's no problem! Any bank takes just one day to open a new account!” These guys are obviously a forward-thinking solutions-oriented organisation.

Mmm…though it makes you wonder why these bastards in banking take TWO WEEKS to open a simple damn business account when they will open one for me in JUST ONE DAY. Go figure.

So anyway, here’s the 411 on how I make my dough. I’ll make a sweet 10% from every transaction made to my account - “The least amount of transfers will be 5000$, so you will make from 250$ to 2500$”. Not bad for doing sweet FA – though I’m not sure that those figures really add up. Isn’t 10% of $5000 a total of $500? Not $250. Maybe it’s those damn banks and their account keeping fees. Bloody criminals.

“Do you agree that it's good money for a job, that takes you only 2-3 hours a day?” Do I even have to answer? Hell yes! Sign me up! And boy, were they ever keen to.

“Don't hesitate! Take this opportunity, space is limited!
You must fill out our form if you are interested in working for us and meet our requirements http://spectrumdevelopments.com/info.html”

God I hope I get this one - I've got a pretty good vibe about it. I wonder if this mob are affiliated with www.nigerian-internet-fraud.com? Those guys make shitloads of money.