MELLIPOP'S FIRST CHRISTMAS

OK, so I’m turning into a Christmas compulsive this year.,,,

For the first time in years I am getting excited about Christmas. I am in "the spirit of Christmas", HALLELUJIAH MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS! You see, it’s so easy to be cynical and jaded and rant about the mindless consumerism of it all when you’ve got Mum to plan the big lunch spread and Dad to get pissed with. And your brother and sister to help you take the piss out of your drunken Dad. And your nieces to play dress-ups with.

I will have none of the above this year, for the first time ever and already I am feeling like there is a huge empty abyss where my family used to be. So I’m conscientiously filling it with my Frank Sinatra Christmas Carol CD and the over-purchase of decorations for the Christmas tree I insisted we had to have. Despite the danger of it becoming a Staffy plaything of mass Yuletide destruction when we aren’t at home.

I even have a big plastic Santa in our front window, just in case the postman forgets that it’s Christmas and fails to deliver me any cards from all the people back East who have already forgotten me (or are still working it through in Gestalt therapy).

And I bought a Santa hat. And I'm sending cards for the first time in over a decade (I’m writing it off as a good marketing opportunity for the blog). Plus I am about to launch the Chrissie Season Video-Fest at home to a less than enthused audience of two - Anton and the dog. This generally consists of scouring our local video store for every possible kiddie Christmas film available, and watching them all in the space of the next three weeks. But nothing with that little drug-freak Culkin boy. The loss of innocence would be too unbearable to witness at this festive time of year.

And I will know I’m in VERY serious trouble when I sit down to watch the Ray Freakin’ Martin 2004 Carols in the Domain. The very same program that I used to sit and whinge through in its painful entirety while I would help Mum wrap presents at the last minute. More whinging than wrapping, usually. But I’m gonna slog it out with you this year Ray, I swear. And I will SING! Not whinge…..

So essentially I still don’t know what form Christmas Day in WA will take for us this year. Depending on the weather, I suspect we’ll grab the dog and head down to the beach with some pathetic substitute for Chrissie lunch in a plastic bag because we don’t have a picnic basket. And I'll try not to cry when I see everyone else with their families doing the same thing but with better food. And their Mum to pile it all up on a plastic plate for them like they were a kid again, while they're sinking a few beers with their Dad. And I'll be thinking about everyone I love and miss back home.

WE NEED MORE TINSEL OVER HERE! FAST!!!