CHRISTMAS EVE MELLIPOP-STYLE

OK, so it’s 5pm on Christmas Eve, I’ve had 365 whole shopping days to prepare for the obligatory round of gift-giving tomorrow and here I am wrapping Anton and Comanche’s presents with NEWSPAPER and BLU-TACK.

Yes folks, people actually do things like that. People over the age of 27 who have both a disposable income and the sense to know better. Invariably I get bored with these things before getting to the finer points of gift-wrap and cellotape, much like a marathon runner who, with the end of the race in sight, gets bored, goes “bugger this” and ducks into the next pub she comes across on her way.

So we have the Santa Claus pillow cases, the Christmas banners, a Beach Boys Christmas CD and a decidely ugly plastic Santa in the front window but no wrapping paper. Nevermind. I have a stupid political thing about wrapping paper anyway. It really has no inherent use besides its eventual role as gaudy landfill. Wrapping paper is the ultimate display of consumer arrogance. Sure, let’s cut down trees to make paper dyed with toxic chemicals so that we can use it to conceal other useless commodities that we don’t really need either.

God that’s so fucking obvious in an undergraduate kind of way.

Look, I’m just being a Grinch because I’m still at home with my even lazier partner instead of being on the beach with the second installment of Stephen King’s Dark Tower series.

CHRISTMAS DAY UPDATE

Ok, so suddenly I don’t feel so bad about the newspaper/blu-tack combo I’ve cleverly used to wrap Anton’s prezzies with.

I get handed what appears to be a beautifully wrapped gift with real Xmas paper. When I turn it over to open it, I see that the entire thing is actually held together by band-aids….

It seems that Anton couldn't find the sticky-tape either.....