A CONSUMER, SCORNED PT 2

Ok, so I’m having a bad year with large organisations. Now it’s time to lay the boot into World Vision for an inexcusable bureaucratic fuck-up of massive proportions.

Let me start out by saying that I have always been a huge supporter of World Vision (though conveniently overlooking the religious-brainwashing side of things) and always donated extra money on top of my $40 a month, in support of their regular fundraising drives for famine and natural disasters elsewhere. Many a time I defended their credibility to its critics.

One year, I even did all my Christmas shopping out of their “Smiles” catalogue. For example, my Dad was the happy recipient of a toilet in Papua New Guinea, my Mum got some vaccinations in Senegal and my brother got a goat in Rwanda. Etc. So the money goes to programs overseas and my Dad gets a card with a picture of two tribal chiefs in PNG standing next to a bush toilet, when all he really wanted was a case of Crown Lager!

For the last 3 or 4 years I have been sponsoring a child through World Vision, a little boy from Malawi in Africa called Mabvuto Tambala. In July this year I received my annual Tax Deductible Statement in the post and immediately noticed that my contributions for the previous year were listed as only $40 - the equivalent of one month’s donation.

I immediately phoned to query the amount, guessing that it was the result of clerical or computer error and assumed that a few simple keystrokes would take care of it all. Rather, I am duly informed by a sheepish staff member that my sponsor child HAD BEEN DEAD FOR THE LAST 11 MONTHS and hence the total on my statement was in fact, the correct one.

AND NO ONE FROM WORLD VISION HAD BOTHERED TO INFORM ME OF THIS INTERESTING DEVELOPMENT FOR A WHOLE GODDAMN YEAR!!!!

AND, it was ME who phoned THEM – about an entirely different matter! So when exactly were they planning to break the news?

OK, so anyway, at that point I’m kinda stunned and start babbling something about my credit card being incorrectly debited while I struggle not to start crying as the shock starts to wear off and comprehension sinks in. I kinda miss most of the rest of the conversation except to hear the obviously uncomfortable guy on the other end of the line say that normally they send letters and make phone calls in such cases. Neither of which did I receive.

So I’m still babbling about my credit card when anger kicks in, and I give him a serve before I tell him I will phone back immediately once I have all of my last years credit card statements in front of me.

I went and checked my records, stunned to realise that the call centre guy was right. World Vision hadn’t debited my card since Mabvuto had passed away 11 months ago. So there I was, feeling like a right dickhead for not even noticing that the payments had ceased. But hey, I don’t read my bills, I just pay the fuckers!

Following anger, I moved on to guilt, berating myself for being a totally reprehensible, self-absorbed, clueless person. I mean, how could I have not noticed once in 11 months that the payments had ceased. And I didn’t even ask HOW he passed away - all I could think about was that darn credit card bill…. (Funny the way the mind works when confronted with issues of mortality…)

Soon afterwards, self-pity kicked in and I started to feel sorry for myself. I mean, how many people’s sponsor kids up and die on them? Is it common? Am I cursed? Why do everyone else’s sponsor kids become doctors and vets? Should I sponsor another child straight away, and what happens if this one dies? My altrustic side won out and I decided to sponsor again, despite my reservations.

As I picked up the phone to call World Vision, the question suddenly occurred – WHY THE FUCK WOULD I TRUST THESE PEOPLE WITH MY MONEY EVER AGAIN?????

ANSWER: I wouldn’t.

So I put the phone down…. And shed a few tears for the poor little soul who had died 11 months previously, only to survive as an affront to World Vision’s database integrity.

MABVUTO TAMBALA
Mabvuto Tambala was only 12 years old when he died. He enjoyed playing soccer, his chores included sweeping and - though he wasn’t a keen or brilliant scholar - his favourite subject was creative art. He spent his final Christmas on Earth enjoying a feast of beef and rice.